{"id":402,"date":"2012-01-20T13:24:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-20T21:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/?p=402"},"modified":"2020-07-08T19:03:56","modified_gmt":"2020-07-09T02:03:56","slug":"the-belichick-inverse-likability-theorem-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/2012\/01\/20\/the-belichick-inverse-likability-theorem-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"The Belichick Inverse Likability Theorem, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Jeffrey Carl <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Bloggers To Be Named Later, January 20 2012<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Bloggers To Be Named Later<\/a> was Paul Caputo’s fabulous sports-blogging empire of the mid-2010s. My role in the enterprise was to promise to write humor articles and then not do that, or at least not remotely on time. Ultimately, after a flirtation with viral Internets fame, the site basically turned into an excuse for Paul to get free baseball tickets, which is actually about the only good reason to run a blog of any sort. After the BTBNL site wound down, I realized that I hadn’t kept local copies of most of the stories I had written, so I ended up scouring through The Internet Archive<\/a> to find as many as I could in order to prevent a tragic loss to the world’s cultural canon of blog posts complaining about the Seattle Mariners. You’re welcome. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Bill
Pretending to make human smile DOES NOT COMPUTE<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Statistics are essential to modern sports. Football coaches have situational analysis tables to help them justify \u201cpunt it on 4th and inches\u201d calls more frequently. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baseball has \u201csabermetrics,\u201d which is an intricate mathematical system for determining results that is calculated by nerdy people who don\u2019t have a big enough group of friends to play \u201cDungeons & Dragons\u201d with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Worldwide, soccer has all sorts of crazy crap that they do in metric units like \u201cKiloBeckhams\u201d or \u201cInjury Time per Hectare.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"David
1 GigaBeckham (938 Imperial MegaBeckhams)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Yet the NFL has always lacked a true benchmark statistic (like WAR in baseball or Remaining Teeth divided by Penalty Minutes in hockey) that can accurately predict a team\u2019s future success. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is why we are proud to introduce a solid, mathematically proven theory that finally takes the guesswork out of NFL success. The Belichick Inverse Likability Theorem<\/em> simply states:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Not convinced? We\u2019ll prove this theorem by examining prominent NFL coaches and their unlikability. Let\u2019s start by looking at the 2011 NFL postseason conference championship coaches:<\/p>\n\n\n\n