{"id":529,"date":"1994-10-06T08:19:18","date_gmt":"1994-10-06T15:19:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/?p=529"},"modified":"2020-07-08T19:01:03","modified_gmt":"2020-07-09T02:01:03","slug":"wdce-at-least-wkrp-had-venus-flytrap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/1994\/10\/06\/wdce-at-least-wkrp-had-venus-flytrap\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cWDCE? At least WKRP had Venus Flytrap …\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by Jeffrey Carl<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"Jeffrey
University of Richmond Collegian, October 6 1994<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to a bare modicum of writing skill and a more obvious fondness for bourbon which aligned with that of my journalism professors, my putative career advanced rapidly through my undergraduate years. I went from a practicum story writer for the University of Richmond Collegian student newspaper in my freshman year to Assistant News Editor in my sophomore year, then on to Greek Life Editor and IT Manager (I read MacWorld magazine!) in my junior year, and ultimately to Opinion Editor in my senior year. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For some reason that escapes me now, I acquired a humor column during this process at the beginning of my junior year. This column, titled “Over the Cliff Notes,” eventually ran for 22 installments and was over the course of two years was read by literally dozens of actual humans, only most of which where KA pledges I forced to do so. Its literary influence was quite literally incalculable, and I’m just going to leave it at that.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It occurs to me now that topical humor from college campuses nearly 30 years ago does not age well. I’m sure it was absolutely hilarious at the time, though. Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

We here at The Collegian pride ourselves on being responsive to our readers.  Aw, who the hell are we kidding?  You know and I know and Erik Estrada knows that we really don\u2019t give a dead rat\u2019s ass.  But at least we make an effort, you know?  So, anyway, here\u2019s a letter from The Collegian Piping-Hot-Full-of-Letters Mailbag:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I\u2019ve been hearing a lot about the new social space.  Now, what\u2019s up with that?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A: I don\u2019t know what\u2019s up with the campus radio station.  Damned if I can figure it out.  The only time I ever really listened to WDCE 90.1 FM was freshman year when my friends and I would drink cheap wine and call up Allan Young and Todd Flora on \u201cCollege Talks\u201d and yell \u201ceat me\u201d on the air.  But many people are perplexed about what it does and why and if anyone listens to it besides weird people at VCU with day-glo purple hair and rings in their winkies and tattoos of Martha Graham and Gertrude Stein doing hits off a six-foot bong and dancing the \u201cAchy Breaky dance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided to do some investigative work and actually listen to the radio station for a while.  The results were irritating.  Not only did all of the music sound like exploding cats with feedback, but there wasn\u2019t even anything wholesome or positive or Roop-esque on the station.  The whole thing just sucked.  It was like a musical version of eating masking tape.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WDCE\u2019s motto is that it is \u201cthe alternative.\u201d  The term \u201calternative<\/em>\u201d implies that it isn\u2019t your first choice, anyway.  But the radio station\u2019s mission is to play all this ultra-cool, hip stuff that nobody has ever heard of and allows you to claim that you\u2019re that band\u2019s biggest fan because you\u2019re their only fan.  I mean, if you tell somebody that you\u2019re dating the sister of the lead singer for \u201cButtsteak[note: actual band],\u201d  nobody\u2019s gonna argue with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also assembled a few facts about the radio station from my listening.  How much do you know about your campus radio station?  A little WDCE quiz: (answers at end of column)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Pick the song that wasn\u2019t played on WDCE in the last 72 hours:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) \u201cRhapsody in goo\u201d by The Pickle Tickle<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b) \u201cPus\u201d by Schnitzel<\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) \u201cAss masters\u201d by 1910 Fruitgum Company<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d) \u201cPeeing in the pool\u201d by Dickweed<\/p>\n\n\n\n

e) \u201cPus (the frothy remix)\u201d by Schnitzel<\/p>\n\n\n\n

f) \u201cSuck it\u201d by Buttsteak<\/p>\n\n\n\n

g) \u201cThe \u2018College Talk with your host Brian C. Jones\u2019 theme song\u201d by The Brian C. Jones Soul Explosion<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Demographics show that the average WDCE listener is:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) 12 – 18<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b) 18 – 25<\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) on serious drugs<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d) whichever DJ is doing the show at the time<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. As a mass medium, WDCE\u2019s audience size is equal to that of:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) \u201cMTV\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b) \u201cThe New York Times\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) \u201cIshtar\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d) \u201cThe Collegian\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

e) \u201cThe Collegian\u201d when half of its readers are sick and only the other guy gets a chance to pick it up<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Which of the following has not been an actual, official motto of WDCE:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) \u201cJudas Priest, are we weird\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b)\u201cThe Richmond area\u2019s only authorized \u2018Buttsteak\u2019 dealer\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) \u201cTwice as much dead air time as the next leading radio station\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d) \u201cAt VCU we\u2019re really cool and our album just broke in Belgium\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who is responsible for this drivel?  I called the general manager of WDCE, James O. Bryant, and when I identified myself as a member of the Collegian staff, he simply refused to return my calls.  A couple of days later, I called back and identified myself as the Rabbi Menachem Schneerson, from \u201cSpin<\/em>\u201d magazine.  This time he agreed to talk to me about WDCE and its role in the assassination of John F. Kennedy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell,\u201d Bryant said, \u201cwe\u2019re basically just here to annoy people.  I don\u2019t usually tell people that, but we are also actually all Communists.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aha!  I had begun to unravel this sinister scheme, a purported \u201cradio station\u201d that actually was an engine of Fifth Column Radicalism promoting Communist revolution and tooth decay.  The only conclusion I can come to is that the radio station should be filled in with cement immediately and all of the DJs should be burned at the stake and the whole thing should be cleaned up or else stronger measures will be advocated.  Thank you and good night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Jeffrey Carl Thanks to a bare modicum of writing skill and a more obvious fondness for bourbon which aligned with that of my journalism professors, my putative career advanced rapidly through my undergraduate years. I went from a practicum story writer for the University of Richmond Collegian student newspaper in my freshman year to … Continue reading \u201cWDCE? At least WKRP had Venus Flytrap …\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":57,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,7],"tags":[70],"class_list":["post-529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-ur-collegian","tag-collegian"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/URC_logo_header.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/529","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=529"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/529\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":534,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/529\/revisions\/534"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/57"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=529"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=529"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=529"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}