{"id":86,"date":"1997-03-20T20:33:55","date_gmt":"1997-03-21T04:33:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/?p=86"},"modified":"2020-04-19T20:43:43","modified_gmt":"2020-04-20T03:43:43","slug":"odd-job-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/1997\/03\/20\/odd-job-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Odd Job: Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SATAN: Actually, we\u2019re very different. I’m much more human and emotional than God … and, as you’ve probably noticed, I’m also much<\/em> better-looking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: So why are you here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: To give you<\/em> a chance to win fabulous prizes<\/em>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: Really?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Ha ha, no, no, I just love saying that. I\u2019m here to tell you you\u2019re getting screwed. (pause<\/em>) Figuratively speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: By you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Is everything<\/em> about blame to you? (beat<\/em>) Well, look, partly, yeah. But, hey, it\u2019s my job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: Why do you do it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: I have a very nice office, two secretaries and my own fax machine. It\u2019s not such a bad job. (pause<\/em>) Look, that\u2019s not why I\u2019m here. I\u2019m here to tell you there\u2019s a way out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: If it involves switching to “MCI Friends & Family,” I\u2019m not interested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: No, no … Look, you\u2019re being tested by me and … you know<\/em> … to test your faith in Him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: What ever happened to the old “fill-in-the-blank-multiple-choice” way?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Listen … the way to end this is, you just get out<\/em>. Convert to Buddhism or soemthing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: But that won\u2019t be invented for another 3000 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: So you\u2019ll get a head start. That\u2019s not the point. Be a deist or an existentialist or a French teacher or something. Invent a religion all about Taco Bell. Go around waving signs saying \u2018The Atacolypse is Coming.\u2019 Whatever. We\u2019re testing your faith in Him. If you just stop believing in Him … or me … the question is invalidated. Then we\u2019ll just have to find someone else to play with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: Sounds like a pretty rotten play to me.JOB and SATAN turn their heads slowly and look at the audience, then return to the scene.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: No, no, I didn\u2019t mean it like that. But do you see? Just stop believing in God or me or any of this, and it\u2019s finished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: But … I can\u2019t. I can\u2019t<\/em>. I really believe<\/em> in God. That\u2019s reality. I can\u2019t just stop<\/em> believing, without meaning<\/em> it. And this isn\u2019t some 20th century angst-ridden “Can-I-reconcile-my-belief-in-God-with-the-fact-I-work-at-Blockbuster?” thing. It\u2019s God we\u2019re talking about. The Creator of the Universe. I mean, have you seen<\/em> his resume?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Okay, okay. I just thought that before this went any further, we should sit down and chat … you know, Princess of Darkness to Prince of Dork-ness. (sighs<\/em>) I was just trying to help. (pause<\/em>) In my own way. See ya.SATAN exits, either walking off, or in a cloud of smoke if you have the budget<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: I am having one of the strangest days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE walks onstage as JOB leaves. She is in solo spotlight … as with the other monologues in the play, it becomes obvious we have stepped \u2018outside\u2019 the normal action of the play for this. She speaks directly to the audience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: Just between you and me, Job is the one who really believes in God. I\u2019ve never really told him. I haven\u2019t really talked to God since my Bat Mitzvah … for those of you Christians in the audience, that\u2019s like a debutante ball, but without the sex in the parking lot.Pause.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mother strongly believes in God. She\u2019s a lot like Job. I don\u2019t think she\u2019s ever really asked many questions about religion. But it helps her. I remember when I was in college, and my mother asked me if I believed in God. I\u2019ve never really needed religion. I was always too happy with the things in life I was sure were real<\/em>. Myself … my children … my husband. So I don\u2019t believe in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The obvious answer to the question was to tell my mother some “not-very-often-but-yes-of-course<\/em>” story. Long pause.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But every good Israelite is supposed to be able to stand up for what they believe. I was an intellectual … a woman of the world … I watched movies with subtitles … why should I<\/em> have lied? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth will set you free, right? Right?A long, reflective pause.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“No, mom. (pause<\/em>) I mean, it\u2019s because…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so we argued … around and around … and, finally, I … won<\/em>. My mother ran up the white flag of surrender when she finished the discussion by saying “Then just don\u2019t tell your grandmother.”A pause, painful now.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I saw a glimmer of my mother\u2019s doubt. Having religion gives<\/em> you something. It gives you something to be secure about, to feel like you have the answer, like you have a little piece of the puzzle of life and how to live it. Losing your religion takes that away, and replaces it with this feeling like you\u2019re smarter than everybody else … but afterwards, when nobody else is around, you ask yourself, “Okay, smart-ass, so what is<\/em> the answer?” And you don\u2019t know. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I finally realized that making the world a smarter<\/em> place does not necessarily make it a happier<\/em> place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So … if belief is what makes Job happy … that\u2019s something I won\u2019t challenge. We lost everything … but we didn\u2019t lose everyone<\/em>. Our children. Each other. And maybe that\u2019s enough.JOB comes back onstage just as the MESSENGER arrives.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: I have a message for Mr. and Mrs. Job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: Is it good news or bad news?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Have you ever seen \u2018Waterworld?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB and WIFE: No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Of course you haven\u2019t. Nobody has. Never mind. Anyway, it\u2019s not good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: What do you mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Your children were all together … having dinner, catching up, being joyous and having a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: Yes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: The roof caved in on them. And only I am escaped alone to tell thee.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: But…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: I don\u2019t understand…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: I know what you\u2019re thinking. That damn<\/em> cheap aluminum siding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: But what about our children?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Oh, them. They\u2019re dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both JOB and his WIFE are in shock.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: But one of your daughters was not there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: (hopeful<\/em>) No?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: She was getting married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (joyful<\/em>) Really?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: She got married to Pauly Shore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (falls on his knees, screams<\/em>) Oh, GOD! WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: I suppose a tip is out of the question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both JOB and WIFE are heartbroken, on the verge of tears, but still too shocked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Remember the words from the Good Book. (flips open the book on the table, which has heretofore been the Bible<\/em>) \u2018Skokie, Illinois. 80455.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: That\u2019s the ZIP Code Directory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Yeah, it didn\u2019t sound real inspiring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: Why? Why did this happen? Why us? Why?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (painfully<\/em>) It must have been God\u2019s will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: I don\u2019t want to hear about God!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Look … if you\u2019re curious … why not just call God and ask him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: Call Him … on the telephone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Sure. Look him up in the Bible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (barely believing<\/em>) Where do I find how to contact him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: It\u2019s in the Book of Numbers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pause while everyone lets this sink in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: Get it?<\/em> Book of Numbers? HA HA HEE HEEE HA HA!The MESSENGER doubles over in laughter while JOB and WIFE are still griefstricken and dumbfounded.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

MESSENGER: (recovering<\/em>) Get it? Book of Numbers? (pause<\/em>) You don\u2019t get it. (pause, sighs, changing back to serious tone<\/em>) It\u2019s there. It\u2019ll get edited out in a later version … and the Kabbalists will go nuts for 1500 years trying to figure it out. But it\u2019s in there. Just call Him and ask. MESSENGER exits. JOB and WIFE look at each other silently for a moment.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: It\u2019s all over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: It\u2019s not over. The program says there\u2019s about another 25 minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: NO! Our lives … they\u2019re over. We\u2019ve lost everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (going to wife, trying to comfort her<\/em>) It\u2019s not over. Life goes on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: I don\u2019t want to live. I don\u2019t see why we should live … if life is this<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: No … no … God has a plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: God\u2019s plan sucks! (almost to herself<\/em>) My life is worth nothing. Why should I want to be alive?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (thinks<\/em>) Did I tell you I used to smoke when I was in college?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB is up, walking around, addressing his wife from time to time, but really talking to the audience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: Yeah. Until I quit. You know why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t all those anti-smoking campaigns \u2014 \u2018Smoker\u2019s lungs: Congested. Black. Different.\u2019 … or all of the warnings on the back of cigarette cartons \u2014 you know, \u2018The Surgeon General has determined that if you\u2019re going to smoke these, you can kiss your ass goodbye right now.\u2019 It wasn\u2019t that an ex-girlfriend told me it made me taste like dirty Q-Tips. (pause, reflects<\/em>) You know, we broke up right after I found out she knew what dirty Q-Tips tasted like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: (sarcasm<\/em>) I\u2019d really<\/em> love to hear more about your ex-girlfriends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (realizing he\u2019s off-track and coming back to her<\/em>) I quit because a friend of mine died. He didn\u2019t die from smoking six packs of Luckies a day, he didn\u2019t die after drinking three gallons of Rumple-Minze and driving off a cliff or anything. He was just sick for a long time from some stupid disease nobody had ever heard of, and then he became finally terminally deceased to death.Contemplative pause.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Death is a terribly unromantic thing. It\u2019s not dramatic, it\u2019s not glorious, it\u2019s just … not<\/em>. Not anything. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So why did this make me stop?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You see, at my ripe old age of 21, I had a hard time conceptualizing all those things that would happen to me eventually: Getting married, having kids… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB moves over to WIFE, touches her shoulder and her stomach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know, buying a station wagon, having a mid-life crisis and trying to trade the kids in for a new Suzuki, and finally while I\u2019m on my deathbed telling everyone that I buried all this gold right over in … aaaarggggh<\/em> and dying before the last word so they go crazy looking for it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: (reproving<\/em>) Job!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (laughs to himself thoughtfully<\/em>) I sorta expected it to happen, but I never really believed<\/em> any of it would. Especially the “dead” part. I\u2019d be young forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But time really does pass. And life is too precious to waste. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I quit. Aside from the obvious side effects \u2014 for three weeks, I tried to smoke my term papers \u2014 it wasn\u2019t too bad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the point is … being alive is a gift. We have to be grateful for what we\u2019ve got. And just being alive<\/em> is enough to be grateful for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: (very earnest<\/em>) Is it?They look at each other. WIFE moves to JOB, and he holds her tightly.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: We just have to believe it will be all right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: I don\u2019t know if I believe in anything<\/em> anymore.WIFE pulls slowly away from JOB, and walks offstage. JOB is left alone, addressing the audience.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: If only I had some sign.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A stagehand throws an envelope onto the stage from above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: (opening it greedily, then dejectedly<\/em>) Apparently, I\u2019ve been pre-approved for a VISA Gold Card.JOB, looking none too sane at this point, walks dejectedly offstage. SATAN walks back on, with a microphone, followed by NEIBUHR and LARDBALL, who sit at the chairs away from the table, as on a talk show panel. NIEBUHR is prim, scholarly and proper with a badly-stuck-on goatee; LARDBALL should be as vile as possible.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Hi! Today on \u2018Talking with Satan,\u2019 we\u2019ll examine the problem of Job, and is he just a loser or what? On our distinguished panel, we have Dr. Reinhold Neibuhr, a respected theologian who\u2019s been dead for many years so he can\u2019t sue us (NEIBUHR waves to the audience<\/em>) … and Bart Lardball, a wino we just picked up off the street. (LARDBALL makes as if to wave, then takes the can of fake string and, hiding it behind his mouth, appears to vomit on NEIBUHR<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LARDBALL: Eurrgh. Sorry there, your majesty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Now, Dr. Neibuhr, how would you explain the theological issues at stake here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NEIBUHR: Well, the issue is essentially whether God is always right, or whether he\u2019s only right sometimes, or whether it just depends if he\u2019s got a good night\u2019s sleep. Job is this good guy, and God decides to make his life become like poo-poo, through no fault of his own. Is it within God\u2019s right to do this? If so, who\u2019s going to tell him to quit it? Is it within Job\u2019s rights to resist? Since his life is now so screwed up, could he, for example, ask God for a refund? Or can we, as humans, ever understand God? If not, are there Cliffs\u2019 Notes available? And, finally, is this really anybody\u2019s<\/em> fault? If so \u2014 and this is the major theological question \u2014 who does Job\u2019s insurance company have to pay? And will his premiums go up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Mr. Lardball, how do you respond?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LARDBALL: (pointing to girl in audience<\/em>) Yeah, you in the fourth row. Hey, baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Well, Dr. Neibuhr, how do would you define this struggle in ontological terms?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NEIBUHR: Well, it\u2019s rooted in the intrusion of the theological reality into the empirical and the quantifiable. It raises many burning questions \u2014 or should I say, \u2018Oxidizing?\u2019 ha ha, funny little joke there for the lads in physics. It projects the unknowable and ineffable into the space of the material plane … thereby negating much of the Kantian positivist questions, and making Sartre look absolutely like a big idiot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Mr. Lardball, how do you feel about the anti-Hegelianism the doctor is expounding?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LARDBALL: Have you got any spare change? I\u2019m down to my last bottle of \u2018Night Train.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NEIBUHR: Umm … not really.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LARDBALL: Well, this is just a guess, but I\u2019d<\/em> say a Hegelian belief in absolute spirit or Aristotelian forms negate a theological empiricism? (pause<\/em>) Euurghh. (vomits on NEIBUHR<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Well, let\u2019s take some questions from the audience. (walks to AUDIENCE MEMBER, and points the microphone at them<\/em>) What do you think?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: (stands<\/em>) Are any of you transvestites?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NEIBUHR: No<\/em>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LARDBAG: No, but I vomit a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: This is a talk show? With no transvestites<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: This sucks. I\u2019m outta here. (leaves the theater<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Well, (points the microphone at another AUDIENCE MEMBER<\/em>) what do you<\/em> think?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: (stands<\/em>) Why aren\u2019t there any singing cats in this? I heard there was singing cats in this play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NEIBUHR: No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: This sucks. I\u2019m outta here. (leaves the theater<\/em>)SATAN heads back onto stage and addresses the audience.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN: Well, that\u2019s all the time for this week. Join us next time when Elvis and three singing cats join us to discuss the Road to Hell, and the best ways to get there from I-95. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

SATAN, NEIBUHR and LARDBALL exit, with LARDBALL vomiting constantly on NEIBUHR.<\/em> JOB strides quickly back onstage; he appears to be losing it. JOB thinks for a moment, then hesitatingly walks over to the table, and picks up the Bible and the phone. He pages through the Bible, then apparently finds what he is looking for. JOB picks up the phone, takes a breath as if he is taking a great dive into water, and quickly dials the number. He listens intently, looking as if he has just had a revelation. Then he puts the phone down.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: God?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: Busy signal.After some anguished internal debate, JOB reaches into a drawer of the table and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: I knew our kids were hiding some of theirs around here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He lights the cigarette. It is, of course, made of flash paper and erupts into flame and disintegrates out of his hands. JOB looks up toward heaven, then down below him.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: I can\u2019t even tell which<\/em> of you did that<\/em>.JOB sinks to his knees and appears ready to cry. His WIFE returns to the stage, looking grim. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: We have to talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both compose themselves for what they know will be a very serious talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: Yes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: I…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A DANCER, costumed in a wild parody of biblical garb, rushes on and slides into the middle of the stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DANCER: (sings<\/em>) Oh, Jooo-seeephhhhh! Jo-Jo-Jo-Joseph with the groovy coat\/Your evil brothers threw you down a moat! They took you to Pharaoh \/ They shaved all your hair-O…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB and WIFE: (simultaneously<\/em>) Next door!Long pause.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

DANCER: Oops. (exits<\/em>)Long pause.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: I\u2019m scared<\/em>. Our lives have been … just cancelled. Like everything we ever did or worked for has vanished, it never happened. And we\u2019re left in the ruins. We were good people … no, Job, you were perfect. You always did everything God wanted. (pause<\/em>) How could this happen?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: It\u2019s God\u2019s will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He moves toward her, tries to kiss her comfortingly, she pulls away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: Oh, shut up! Shut up! Don\u2019t you hear what I\u2019m saying? I don\u2019t care<\/em> if it\u2019s God\u2019s will! It\u2019s wrong! It\u2019s all wrong! If … if God did do this, then he\u2019s wrong and he\u2019s horrible and…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: No, no, don\u2019t say that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: No, it\u2019s awful<\/em> and there can\u2019t<\/em> be a God, because if there is one and he allowed this to happen, then he\u2019s evil<\/em>! Look what He did to us! And … and you keep defending Him! Against me<\/em>! Against your children<\/em>! How could you do this? Dost thou retain thy integrity? Curse God and die!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: No! Don\u2019t you see, I have faith … it\u2019s all<\/em> I have. I can\u2019t give it up now.Long pause. WIFE looks as if she has made some terrible, final decision.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: I have to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JOB: You can\u2019t. The bathroom blew up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE: No. I mean I have to go<\/em>. I can\u2019t stay with you anymore. I\u2019m so sorry. Goodbye.WIFE, overcome, turns and exits hurriedly. JOB stares after her for a moment, then sinks to his knees in despair. After a long moment, he begins to speak, addressing the audience, in solo spoltlight.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue to Part Three<\/a><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SATAN: Actually, we\u2019re very different. I’m much more human and emotional than God … and, as you’ve probably noticed, I’m also much better-looking. JOB: So why are you here? SATAN: To give you a chance to win fabulous prizes! JOB: Really? SATAN: Ha ha, no, no, I just love saying that. I\u2019m here to tell you you\u2019re getting screwed. (pause) … Continue reading Odd Job: Part 2<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":53,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-86","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-odd-job"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/oddjob.gif","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=86"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions\/87"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=86"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=86"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffcarl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=86"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}